Silly Starbucks.... 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

Steph here. I have the silliest conversations at Starbucks. Especially when I order through the drivethrough. The great thing about Starbuckers is that they are acutely aware of how hip and trendy they are, as if drinking coffee were somehow counter cultural. They've got their beards and peicings and little green aprons and probably a mac notebook theyre using to write a screenplay. I love them.

 I still hadn't memorized the sizes of Starbucks drinks until this week. I'm here now to help all of you who might still be intimidated. Here's how to order at Starbucks:

Small is actually tall. Deceptive, indeed.

If you want a medium, ask for a Grande. Large is Venti. Theres no reason to ever get a Venti. You'll break the bank in a week and your heart will explode.

<Starbucks lingo 101

So here's my conversation with the guy through the drivethrough:

Me: I'd like an um... what do you call a medium?

Guy: Grande.

Me: You guys are aware that they names are pretentious and inconvient, right?

Guy: Yeah, we're aware.

Me: Okay cool. So a Grande. Wait doesn't Grande mean 'large' in Spanish?

Guy: Um...I think so. Maybe.

Me: So shouldn't that be the large?

Guy: Large is a Venti. Which is Italian for twenty. I don't know.

Me: So, is Starbucks Spanish or Italian?

Guy: I think its from Seattle or somtething.

The things you learn. There was a much cheerier order the next day. The guy asked me what I would like in song form, and I sang my order right back. It was delightful, and made me feel a tiny bit like my life was a musical, which would rule. Jake said the Coffee Man was flirting with me, and I told him I didnt think so, but he did look a tad bummed to be handing the drink to a bearded dude instead of a chick when we got to the window.

Last but not least, I came in and sat down at a Starbucks 2 days ago. I was trying to read "Paradise Lost," but ended up talking to some very colorful Memphis charachters sitting beside me instead. The ones I spent most time socializing with may or may not have been homeless. Life is great.

Then there have been the last two sculpture classes.... I left my cups in the room. I have been reminded of this by almost everyone I see. I gotta go get those cups.

Till next time, happy drinking!